It’s cold and flu season, friends. You might’ve heard it’s here. And unlike basketball season and football season, there’s no deadline for sign-ups and it’s never too late to join the team.
If you’re a parent with kids participating this year — or kids playing as starters and headed to state finals, baby! — then this recording is for you. Or, rather, for your friends, to help them understand they need to run. Like, NOW.
Hit play, plague-fighting parents. And enjoy! (Lyrics below, as well.)
Here Come My Kids (and they gonna be sick)
by Nate Macy
Here come my kids and they gonna sick.
I don’t mean ill like “cool.” I mean, “Run away quick.”
They contagious. Contamined. Plague-spreading thugs.
Don’t even think about giving them a hug.
‘Cause they give you the sick. Make you puke through your nose
From which you can’t breathe ever again, you suppose.
Runnin’ to Uncle John, usin’ both ends.
So hear me now, and tell all your friends.
Here come my kids like a small pox blanket.
They rip out your immune system. And spank it.
The doctors in town all pay me a commission.
So hear me now. Assume the position.
My kids are walking pestilence, the fourteenth plague.
They just might go rabid and start chewing on your leg.
So hear my rhyme, so funky and so slick.
Here comes my kids and they gonna be sick.
P.S. Nate Macy made this recording just for us. Thanks, Nate! You’re rad.
P.P.S. How’s flu season going, folks? (Heh heh.)
P.P.P.S. That “heh heh” was not mockery or laughter at your pain. It was a chuckle of mamaraderie, ’cause I’ve been there.