This year for Christmas, our family received a zoo membership. My brother and sister-in-law gave it to us with straight faces, showing off their black belts in Ironic Gift Giving.
This is what it looks like to take nine kids to the zoo:
Which is identical to what it looks like when grown-ups are completely off-their-rockers CRAZY.
Which is identical to what we call having a blast.
And now, for your reading pleasure, I present:
Things We Lost at the Zoo
1. My nephew’s dignity.
Maybe you’ve seen the movie, A Christmas Story, once or twice. Or maybe, like my family, you’ve seen it fifty-hundred times. If so, you’re familiar with Randy and his snowsuit.
Randy and his snowsuit:
My nephew and his snowsuit:
Later that same day:
And still later:
2. Cai lost his first tooth.
“Mom? I fink this chicken nugget has a bone in it.”
“Sure enough, Cai. It does! But, honey, that’s your bone.”
3. Some of us lost our way.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one that said, Staff Only: DO NOT ENTER.
4. And we all lost our innocence.
But it turned out OK, because the turtles hastily pulled up their blanket and yelled, “Getoutgetoutgetout!” Later, when they were dressed, they went into the kids’ bedrooms and explained that they were just wrestling. And then, for the rest of their
mommy and daddy little turtle lives, they ALWAYS REMEMBERED TO LOCK THE BEDROOM DOOR. Which is a valuable lesson, indeed.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we do the ZOO.
Thanks, Jeff and Kim, for an AWESOME family gift of time and memories. My very favorite kind.
All of Us
And Happy New Year, Everyone!
From the Zoo to You: