At the end of a recent post about, ahem, Screwing Stuff Up, I mentioned that I might, perhaps, be in slight desperate need of Not Screwing Stuff Up training.
I believe the direct quote was, “So if anyone’s offering that class – Not Screwing Stuff Up – please let me know. I will sign myself up. STAT. And then I will arrive at class 15 minutes late.”
And then you commented on that post about your desire to participate in the Not Screwing Stuff Up class, and I realized that I am not alone in my desperation and that it’s sure fun bumping around with you in the Screwed Up Pit of Doom. (I like to think of it as the Screwed Up Mosh Pit. Party!)
But, you guys, we may not be doomed after all! Because my dear friend, Julie Kingery, who is a bona fide medical doctor – she’s Julie Kingery, M.D. – volunteered to lead the Not Screwing Stuff Up seminar for us
I received Dr. Kingery’s offer by private message, and then I had to work for, like, a minute and a half to get her permission to share it with you here and open her seminar to the general public. But, after all of my finagling and hard work, she agreed.
I do these things for you. Because I love you, and God knows we mamas who Screw Stuff Up need each other as much as we need help from wise and accomplished women like Dr. Kingery.
Now, Dr. Kingery and I still have a lot of work to do. We need to find a location for her seminar. It needs to be a room with an enormous back row (or only a back row) because I’ve already promised to save at least six seats for you there and I have a funny feeling there are more back-row sitters we’ll need to accommodate. Also, we’re going to need a place with a huge bathroom for when Angie leaks through her nursing top and we all have to go to the potty together and turn our shirts around backward in mama solidarity. Also also, if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you clearly don’t read every comment, like I do, but that’s OK – I’m still gonna let you go potty with the mama herd and turn your shirt around, because that’s the kind of friends we are.
So even though we’re not quite ready to hold the actual seminar, I thought you might be interested in seeing Dr. Kingery’s seminar synopsis. Just so, you know, you understand all of the awesome training you’re going to get when you do come to our class eventually.
And so, without further ado, I offer you this:
The Julie D. Kingery, M.D. Seminar for Not Screwing Stuff Up
(with my notes in parentheses)
I volunteer to lead the Not Screwing Stuff Up seminar.
On paper my credentials look excellent. (That’s true! Did you see the M and the D after her name??)
I will develop a full curriculum with detailed handouts you can use as reference.
I will provide cookies. (Cookies!)
We will start strictly at 5pm but I will then spend 15 minutes fighting with the projector so everyone will have arrived and be in their seats as my first power point slide loads up and we get the projector focused.
I will then proceed to give a 50 minute talk on diarrhea and how you evaluate the patient and what you need to test them for. This will be a lecture that was supposed to be for medical students but since I actually gave them the Not Screwing Stuff Up talk accidentally, you all get the diarrhea talk.
In the long run we will determine this to be a win-win situation because medical students need help to not screw stuff up and moms are fascinated by diarrhea.
I will have remembered to bring the cookies for your seminar, so all is good.
You guys, I cannot tell you how excited I am that Dr. Kingery has agreed to lead this seminar. Cookies and diarrhea. Truly, this is a woman who understands the hearts and minds of mamas everywhere.
Please feel free to use the comments section to sign up for Dr. Kingery’s seminar. And you know I’ll be there. Fifteen minutes (or so) late.
See you then!