In a grand fit of laziness or misguided frugality this morning, I decided I could rebrew my coffee grounds from yesterday. I figured tea leaves are good for more than one cup (although I feel certain there are Tea Afficionados out there who will set me straight), therefore, why not coffee?
IMPORTANT: You cannot brew coffee grounds twice.
I have done the lab work. I’ve conducted the study. Just… don’t, OK.
Now, yes; this is already obvious to those of you with brains who think things through, but for the rest of us… no. Do not try this at home. You will end up with coffee-colored water, and, more critically, YOU WILL HAVE WASTED TIME YOU COULD HAVE SPENT BREWING REAL COFFEE which means you’re delaying the caffeine infusion required to make good choices AS EVIDENCED BY THE COFFEE TRAINWRECK YOU JUST MADE.
OK? Got it? Dear friends, learn from the ways I have failed.
Honestly, on the scale of Kitchen Experiments, this one wasn’t the worst. I mean it wasn’t the time I put raw, frozen eggs in my bra to try to warm them enough to crack. (SPOILER: I warmed them up enough, and they cracked. 🙄 Mission accomplished.) But it wasn’t my brightest move, either.
The rest of the day has gone swimmingly, though.
I arrived 5 minutes early for a meeting today because I tried to be an hour early so I could sit in the coffee shop and get some work done first. Basically, I tricked myself into being on time for something, and now I want to try it every time, but I’m afraid I’m too smart for me and I’ll figure it out and wreck it next time.
And… that’s literally all I’ve accomplished.
Made coffee. Remade coffee. Got dressed. Went to a meeting **TECHNICALLY ON TIME**. But somehow I’ve been at a dead run all damn day. I suspect I’m actually an invisible alien’s hamster rushing on my wheel to nowhere. At least I’m fluffy, adorable, and entertaining. I’m sure my alien loves me very much. (He should clean my cage better, tho — that place is a mess.)
P.S. I shall be accepting the following trophies at tonight’s Self Awards Ceremony: