3 April 2020 — The COVID Diaries: Staying Sane in a Time That’s Not

 

Dear Diary,

Apologies for failing to write to you yesterday. I’m certain you cried giant crocodile tears of anguish and despair.  I would not have left you in your hour of need except that it was a GIGANTIC, BUSY DAY. I had TWO THINGS TO DO outside of my house. 

Word of advice, Diary — it’s not the wisest choice in the whole universe to give blood and then do your massive, now twice-monthly grocery shopping. Wrong order. If you do that, you’ll wonder why you’re so dramatically exhausted. Why you feel a little barfy in the middle of the dairy section. Why you’re light headed and boneless when you get home. Then you’ll recall, AH, YES — less blood = more tired. And you’ll sit on the couch where you’ll decide to watch just the opening sequence of Tiger King so you can figure out who the eff Carole Baskin is and why everyone thinks she offed her husband even though you know you won’t like it.

Diary, you will not watch just the beginning.

You will stay on your couch for HOURS and watch five of the seven episodes, and then you will head to bed with visions of Joe Exotic dancing in your head.

And you will regret nothing.

The moral of the story is grocery shopping first, blood-letting second. Tiger King is still, inevitably, third, but with far less exhaustion and wondering if you’re going to make it all the way to the eggs or not.

Today was filled with putting away the shopping aftermath…

…and trying to breathe through the uncertainty of this time.

There’s an oddness factor in living through an emergency in stasis. The surreal feelings strike from sideways and other strange angles, and there’s no predicting when they’ll arrive or how long they’ll stay. It’s like trying to live a wholly normal life in the most abnormal fashion while being randomly cloaked in emotional fog. 

It’s weird, Diary.

Weird.

Yours truly,

 

 

 

P.S. Wishing my parents a Very, Very Happy 49th Anniversary today.

I’m sad it’s from behind a fence, but grateful beyond words for these perfectly imperfect humans.

P.P.S. THIS IS WHY WE’RE SOCIALLY DISTANCING, FOLKS. To preserve and honor this. 

❤️

❤️

P.P.P.S. Gotta go finish Tiger King now. 😳 😳 😳 

ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
7 comments
  1. Beth, I’m loving your diaries! I did a big shop yesterday – no blood donation though – and it was exhausting, not having done one for years! Then today hubby and I tamed our back garden (no small feat) and found a nest with four baby blackbirds while hacking a bush back – thankfully the angry parents returned shortly thereafter.
    I’m finding peace and contentment interspersed with palpitations during this lockdown, strangely different to my usual anxiety and depression, as I know there’s a reason for it.
    Love to you and yours.

  2. Happy anniversary to your parents! May there be a wonderful celebration filled with family and friends next year for their 50th.

  3. Happy anniversary to your wonderful parents. I’m glad you got to see them from a appropriate distance.

    I will take your advice into consideration on Monday, when I have a donation appointment. I find my energy comes and goes anyway. I had a few very productive days this week, then yesterday I was a slug. A sad slug. Except for the bit where I learned that my sister’s chemo and lumpectomy were both complete successes, which made me a very happy slug indeed.

    We watched one episode of Tiger King, and I just can’t watch more, although I 100% understand why it’s become a huge thing. I could READ about it (and maybe I have been seeking out articles), or I could watch it if it were fiction. But I just can’t stand to watch these awful people and these poor animals. No judging though–we do what we must to get through these days. Watching TK is at least less fattening than compulsive baking, which is my thing.

    Oh my god I’m rambling on and on here, almost like I haven’t seen anyone outside my immediate family in weeks! *Waves at all Beth’s readers*

  4. Okay, your parents are two of the cutest humans ever – easy to see how they created such a beautiful Beth! Also, you were remiss to mention the most important accomplishment – putting on pants. I mean, assuming you did :).

  5. I shopped for three of us today and had all my blood on board and it was traumatizing and exhausting and I needed hours to get my equilibrium back. Also, the groceries are still in the bags because I’m afraid of them.

  6. And in the midst of blood letting, shopping for her parents and delivering them groceries while trying to keep them safe, and exhausted beyond words, Beth Woolsey also managed to bring the ‘rents flowers for their anniversary. She is one of our heroes!!! Love, Love, Love You, Ibunya

  7. I just wanted to say that this is absolutely lovely. I’ve not yet had the blessing of that kind of love, but it’s people like this that sustain my hope! Congratulations to your parents, your family is very, very blessed.

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