Does it mean something nefarious if you end 2020 by waking up to a dead bird in your bed?
Like, if the morning gifts you a deceased flying creature, is that a portent of things to come? Is it a severed horse head, a la The Godfather? A harbinger of dread?
Or is simply an acknowledgement, like the universe is saying, “Yep. 2020 WAS SOMETHING, amirite? HERE’S A DEAD BIRD TO COMMEMORATE IT. YOU’RE WELCOME.”
Please LMK. I feel like I’m on a need-to-know around here.
P.S. Gregory believes the dead bird is neither a warning nor a nod from the universe. He believes a dead bird in bed is a natural consequence of putting our bed in the living room.
He says when you give the animals direct access from the outside to our bed, this is what happens.
He says when you put our bed in the main thoroughfare, such things became inevitable.
I say Greg is out of touch with messages from the universe.
P.P.S. The universe put other things in our bed this year, as well.
It occurs to me, belatedly, the universe may just be effing with me. If so, well played, universe. Well played.
P.P.P.S. Speaking of things in beds, if you ever wonder if your children will stop crawling in bed with you, the answer is no.
No, they will not. And they will bring their giant, muddy 80 pound puppy with them.
P.P.P.P.S. Seven people and three dogs and two cats and one dead bird is a lot of creatures in one house. I am wildly grateful. ALSO, BEING STUCK INSIDE TOGETHER IN WINTER IN A PANDEMIC WITH BIG PERSONALITIES IS A SPECIAL TREAT. I would provide a full account of all the arguments we’ve had this week, but I can’t count that high. Just know we’re fighting about Critically Important Things like Who Stole My Pen, and No Really Someone Took It, and Who Would Steal a Pen That’saStupidThingtoSteal, and Oh Yeah?WellYour Face Is StuPid.
So, you know. That’s how it’s going.