Jugstaposition

You know that Sesame Street song, One of These Things Is Not Like The Others?

I like that song.

On a completely unrelated note, after I posted this photo last week of my sister-in-law, Kim…

my brother (who’s coincidentally Kim’s husband), sent me this message:

Hi!

Could you please replace the image of Kim on the recent post with this EXACT, UNALTERED copy?  No reason.  Thanks! ...  read more

How to Name a Baby Mulligan

There’s a part of me that fears that no one will come to my parties ever again.

Then there’s the part of me that keeps making up new baby shower games.

The second part says to the first part, “Screw you, sucka!  I don’t care if you make new friends.  I just wanna laugh at others’ pain.”

I usually listen to the second part because she’s more fun.  She also gets me in trouble a lot.  To which I say, “Eh.” ...  read more

Racing

Peer pressure is alive and well, even though I’m 37.

You’d think I’d have learned by now.

If your friend jumps off a bridge, would you jump, too?

Sadly, I must answer yes.

Yes.  If my beloved sister-in-law Kim jumps off a bridge, I’ll be right there next to her, plummeting to my death.

In my defense, Kim has the spiritual gift of peer pressure. ...  read more

Little House on the Prairie

I feel very Little House on the Prairie right now.

Kids: Pa!  Ma’s stuck in bed with pneumonia and the winter storm’s comin’ on!  What are we gonna do, Pa?

Pa: Well, we hardly know how to feed and clothe ourselves without yer Ma, but we’re just gonna do the best we can, kids. The best we can.

Yeah, that’s not exactly how it’s going.  It’s actually a touch disheartening how well everyone does without my intervention, which is why I have to write TV scripts to make myself feel better. ...  read more

I have to wash my hair.

Greg and I have a large capacity for handling sick kids.

In the middle of the night, by just the light of the moon and an LED nightlight, we can change vomit-laced sheets, reroute children to new beds, stop bloody noses in less than 5 minutes flat, open up asthmatic airways, and correctly dose medications in syringes, droppers and spoons.

Our skills were honed the same way desperate parents throughout time have perfected their craft.  Practice, practice, practice. ...  read more

Cocky or Confident?

This is a picture of my brother:

I’m using it without permission.  I stole it off of his gmail status.

It’s not a very good picture.  (Why are you using this picture, Jeff?  You look like you’re being successfully hypnotized.)

I’m just calling it right now – I’ve already managed to make my mom really mad.  What do you mean by ‘It’s not a very good picture?,’ she’s thinking.  It’s a lovely picture.  He looks like a Hollywood star. ...  read more

We have a winner!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

My sincere thanks for your entries in the Overwhelmedness Contest last week.  You made my first contest an overwhelming success, and I’m grateful for your honesty, your willingness to laugh in the face of crazy, and your bravery in sharing your stories with my little corner of the world.

I’m better for your sharing, and I hope you were encouraged by the stories, as well… even if it’s just to feel a touch more normal and a bit less alone.  Thank you for being a terrific community to me and each other this week and for making me regret my embarrassing disclosures a little less than usual. ...  read more