New Teeth! Hot or Not? (Hint: HOT. Obviously.)

Hello, lovelies!

Just a very quick update from me (even though I’m behind on telling you ALL THE THINGS, which I hope to fix soon) because TODAY was Phase One for NEW TEETH.

NEW TEETH.

All for ME!

Strictly speaking, having one’s face mauled by a dog in early childhood has its downsides. Reconstructive surgeries starting at age two. Plastic surgeries starting at seven. Oral surgery, braces more than once, and five fake teeth installed 30 years ago that have aged about as well as you’d expect. Those things were… less than pleasant. ...  read more

A Haphazard Series of Brief (or not) Thoughts, Part 1

I left my house at 3am today, the first of 20+ days of travel this month, home after this only for farm work days every Saturday I can manage to be there. Farms, man; they’re a lot of work. But there’s so much clean air out there — and constant earth magic — so the trade-off will do. 

{Gotta say, though, Dax Shepard’s new sitcom, Bless This Mess, about a couple with less than zero farm experience (I mean it — mathematically negative farm skills) giving up their NYC life for a barren bit of land in Nebraska is cracking us up. It feels very REAL LIFE to us right now, minus barren/Nebraska, plus blackberries/Oregon.}  ...  read more

Quick Life Tip: Frosted Mini Wheats with Brown Sugar and Garlic Salt Is Not OK, After All

I had Frosted Mini Wheats with a sprinkle of brown sugar and a dusting of garlic salt today which I initially decided was fine.

It was the usual situation. Four hours after waking up, I decided I ought to feed myself. Some people make themselves and their physical needs a priority, understanding that providing their own bodies with nourishment upon waking allows them to better care for others. I imagine they set their alarms for early in the morning, rise cheerfully before their children, make themselves multi-grain avocado toast or a two-egg omelette, and eat it from an actual plate while sitting at the kitchen table with a dare-I-say hot cup of coffee or bright lemon tea. I can only assume people like that are generally rational and well-adjusted with an appropriate balance of self-care… and that they don’t wake up in a high-strung panic after hitting snooze thirteen times, thinking of all the tasks they must accomplish immediately, or yesterday, or last year, and itemizing the ever-expanding list of people they’ve let down with their lack of follow-through on their Very Good Intentions. ...  read more

Rebrewing Coffee: A Brief Cautionary Tale

In a grand fit of laziness or misguided frugality this morning, I decided I could rebrew my coffee grounds from yesterday. I figured tea leaves are good for more than one cup (although I feel certain there are Tea Afficionados out there who will set me straight), therefore, why not coffee?

IMPORTANT: You cannot brew coffee grounds twice.

You can’t.

Truly. ...  read more

Happy Inertia Day!

Happy Inertia Day, friends!

If you didn’t know that was a thing, SURPRISE! I invented it this very day, and I shall henceforth celebrate it whenever I can’t get off my butt to get things done.

I was inspired by literally nothing, which is what I’ve accomplished so far today. Oh, I have Stuff to Do. I have a Lengthy List. I have the Usual Chores plus all the Holiday Extras. What I seem to lack, however, is Oomph.  ...  read more

GRAB THOSE BALLS: How to Cheer for Goalies at Soccer Games

Know what the internets need? MORE HOW TO ARTICLES. Because knowing how to do stuff is always better than not knowing. Yes? Yes. Correct. Always.

So here’s a quick tip for y’all. 

This is my kid, Abby:

Abby goes to university in Hawaii because Abby is the smartest person I know.

This is my kid’s human:

Chandler also goes to university in Hawaii ‘cause he’s no dummy, either. ...  read more